New year, new me?
No, not really. It’s the same old me in many ways. Still trying to be healthier, read more, stress less, exhibit self-control, and balance life in general. The usual. Yet, obviously things have changed around here the last 7 plus months. Adapting to motherhood, working part-time and running this blog became a lot to handle. So I found the latter being put on the back burner more than once. To the point where I daily asked myself if I should just quit it all.
Since reading Lisa Druxman’s “The Empowered Mama“, I think I’ve been able to answer that question and narrow my focus going forward. Hang with me here as I share with you Chasing My Halo’s next chapter.
Pics by the awesome Crystal of Salty Blog
Chasing My Halo’s Next Chapter
January’s challenge in “The Empowered Mama” was to identify your top ten values in life and then narrow it down to three and then one. One word that described what’s most important to you/what you value most. It took me awhile to do this and I tried to be honest with myself along the way. The idea is that if what you are doing and spending your time on isn’t aligned with what you value most, it’s hard to be content. Identifying these core values makes decision-making easier, because you can measure everything against your core values to see if it’s worth it (time, money, etc.).
My top three words/values were Joy, Family and Vitality. From those three words, my number one was family.
Family. Which to me, is also inclusive of friends who are like family. Relationships make my world go round and even though the thought of traveling to exotic locations thrills me, ultimately it’s the people I’m with that bring me joy. No matter where we are.
Family would have always made my top tree values but I think that it took having Olivia to put it as my solid #1/ First Team. No hesitation. Being her mother is absolutely everything I’ve ever dreamed and then some. And this friends, is where the struggle gets real.
I started this blog when I was in a mini “funk” and wanted to write. I actually wanted to explore the possibility of being an author, and thought blogging would be a good way to get my feet wet without diving in. Then, I fell in love with blogging itself and the community surrounding it, and I didn’t even want to keep going with the writing just yet. I wanted to stay in this blogisphere as long as possible. I could write a whole post on what I love about blogging, and how it got me out of my funk (and through some other rough patches as well).
I love(d) it.
With one exception.
hated strongly disliked mommy blogs. Even the phrase mommy blogger made me cringe (and honestly, still does a little). There are a few reasons for this, but if I’m being honest with myself, the biggest one is that I was trying to run away from everything that made me face my unmet desire for kids. Infertility bites and was already everywhere around me; I may not have been able to avoid it on my Facebook feed but I sure could control which blogs I read. I didn’t need any more reminders and stabs to the heart.
Also, I really find some straight up annoying. Infertility aside, there are a lot of mom blogs that just aren’t my cup of tea. There’s totally room for these blogs, and they are wonderful in their own right. Many people love them! I just don’t. I don’t really care to read a novel on what milestones your kid has reached or what pregnancy symptoms you’re having in week 23. I get why you’d do that. It’s a great way to track your memories! I just personally don’t get a lot out of those kind of blogs and I swore if I ever became a mom that I wouldn’t do it that way.
In my head, when I’d become a mother I’d continue to blog about fashion or food, or whatever else I fancied at the moment separate from my child.
As soon as those cherub cheeks and wide eyes stared back at mine, I was done for. The Angie I always was, was still there, just faded in importance a lot. So when I’d get my free minutes here and there, they were usually spent cleaning bottles or taking a shower or, I don’t know. Napping! Extra money (oxymoron?) was suddenly going to teething mitts and sleep sacks instead of trips to Nordstrom. My life, although I loved it infinitely more, was becoming hard to blog about anything excluding the one thing that mattered. Especially when time was so precious.
Chasing My Halo was at a crossroad. Do I quit and spend my time on my #1 value, family? That thought seriously bummed me out because this space has become a passion of mine. I also want to keep up my interests outside of Olivia and have an identity besides “mom”.
The answer was staring at me pretty clearly. Include my new role in this blog. That way, some of the experiences I’d have would include her. Instead of being a distraction, the blog would have a purpose that showcased and supplemented my #1 value.
Okay, okay. Do I then just ignore the fun stuff that I really love?
As shallow as it can seem, clothes and style are a small pleasure in life that makes me forget (for a moment) about the huge, problems in our society. It’s a bit of that little girl playing dress up as a child, only on a larger, 6 ft scale:). It also turns out that I enjoy dressing my daughter even more than I love dressing myself!
Chasing My Halo’s Next Chapter
What can you expect going forward?
Chasing My Halo’s next chapter will still have a focus on fashion but with motherhood mixed in. Hopefully, the kind of motherhood talk that even my non-moms and sisters in infertility can enjoy. Since health is a continual focus and area I want to improve, that topic will remain. Health and self-care, I believe, are a big part of thriving in motherhood and life.
Bimonthly blog posts, and an active social media life.
What can you not expect?
That I have it all together and will walk you through my perfect home, hairstyle, or latest recipe. I was a hot mess before kids in this area and will most likely stay that way.
BUT, as I navigate my new role and chase that halo in motherhood, I hope you’ll stay along for the journey, and I promise to do it as stylish and raw as possible.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Love it? Hate it? Words of advice? Drop me a comment here or any social channel.
Much love to all of you and your support of this blog and me, whatever shape that takes.